Merry Fucking Christmas

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It’s the most wonderful time of the year… that’s right it’s the “Holiday” season.  Sorry if you wanted me to say Christmas, but I’ve been told by all the Christians that they are not allowed to say it anymore.  That may be a bit overly dramatic, but I think we can all acknowledge there is some truth to it.  It simply isn’t very “diversely aware” to say Merry Christmas at work.  Growing up Jewish, I can attest that I was occasionally annoyed when people who knew I was Jewish would wish me Merry Christmas.  But I was also eight, and it didn’t take too long to get over.  So as a 41 year old (gasp), I’m always perplexed by this concern for political correctness.  Have we really become that sensitive?

What I find even more concerning is that most of this pressure for being PC comes from what I consider to be the people I most identify with, those that lean Left socially.  Those that support equality, progress, scientific advancements, and so forth.  The very people that demand evidence before formulating a position.  So how is it that the group that is supposed to be rational would be so adamantly opposed to saying “Merry Christmas”?  The common argument is that you don’t know if the person you’re about to give tidings to is Christian.  Who cares? The fact is, every phrase has an origin, integrates into society over generations, and often the original definition of the phrase is forgotten.  It simply becomes a colloquialism.  When you say “knock on wood” are you really calling on the tree inhabiting dryads for protection?  Because that’s what it means.  The fact is, we all need to CTFD (that’s Calm The Fuck Down for those over 42 years old).

For starters, Jesus wasn’t even born on Christmas.  According to the scripture (Luke), there were shepherds in the fields with their flocks when he was born.  Neither shepherds nor flocks were in the field in late December, they were in shelter.  Then there is the account of Joseph and Mary registering in the census which was always in the summer.  Christmas didn’t even begin to get recognized until the 4th century, and it was likely a council that voted on which day it would be.  Many believe it became December 25th because it was a long recognized holiday already as the birthday of the sun.  I’m not sure why the divine son of god would steal the one birthday that was already taken… by the fucking sun, but hey, it makes a statement.

The fact is, Christmas has become part of our culture across the globe.  If you can look passed the egregious marketing, cut-throat retail, and binge spending, it is really about giving and being kind.  Maybe inviting someone who will be alone this season over to your house so you can share the insanity of your family with them.  I can think of no greater entertainment or validation than showing someone your family might be more bat shit crazy than theirs. Isn’t that a good thing?  Personally, our favorite activity is fulfilling “letters from Santa” from families in need.  Even though I’ll never meet the kids, it is the most rewarding shopping I’ll do all year.

Cultural diversity is about integrating traditions and practices that work, and making them your own.  Why take something like Christmas away from anyone?  If the perceived origin bothers you, celebrate the birthday of the sun instead.  Just don’t be a douche.  Buy a stranger coffee.  Put some money in the kettle, or get a thoughtful and unexpected gift for a friend.  Not because you should, but because it’s random, it’s kind, and because selfishly, it will make you feel better.  Who cares what they think the holiday is about.  And when they say “Merry Christmas”, turn to them, smile, and give an enthusiastic, “Merry Fucking Christmas.”

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